My Cupid Ain't Stupid!
by Tsuki-no-Kurokage
Summary: Alternate ending to my Purifiers saga and belated Valentine's Day oneshot. Pashmina realises that she loves Stan, not Dexter. But when Stan's secret gets revealed, what will Pashmina do to show Stan that she loves only him? Rmb, ppl, ALTERNATE ENDING...


My Cupid Ain't Stupid!

Author's Note: Gee, I am so sorry for not updating **Life in Orre, Past or Present** but as you all know, today I have a family reunion dinner and I am still real busy with XD Gale of Darkness. It's the 5th time I'm playing it and I am about to start all over again. I know you might think I'm a crazy person but there's nothing left for me to do after purifying Shadow Lugia and finishing Mt. Battle, so I might as well start over umpteen times. So, anyway, where was I…? Oh yeah, this oneshot is to commemorate Valentine's Day but I ain't allowed the com on weekdays so I'll make a belated oneshot so I hope y'all don't mind. This oneshot is an alternate ending of my Purifiers saga. Remember it's **_alternate_**. This never happened in the saga, but I like typing alternate endings!

Remember to check out **Umbreon-Azure**'s stories on you-know-where! She has posted three! I've reviewed all of them! They are very nice, trust me.

Disclaimer: You know what I own and what I don't own. Long story short, I am too lazy to write it up but here goes: I do not own Hamtaro or anything related to it. I only own Purifiers, Pure Powers, Pokémon nicknames and a bunch of other stuff. This is based on Pokémon Gamecube games. Remember, anything related to Purifiers are © by me.

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"We bring you this news flash…"

"The Pure Boy spotted to be hiding a secret…"

"It seems that the Pure Boy isn't really what he seems to be…"

"Mommy told me the Pure Boy is nice. But I guess she lied…"

"HAS ANYONE SPOTTED THIS CUTE PURE BOY…?"

The breaking news flash was broadcasted on every single channel. Stan, a.k.a. the Pure Boy, has been discovered by some reporters that he was not what he appeared to be. In fact, there have been rumors spreading around that Stan was only pretending to help out so that he could plan his ultimate plan to take over the world. However, this was not true at all. In fact, they were all false accusations made by jealous, attention-craving hamsters. Well, that's what the Ham-Hams believed in.

The Ham-Hams were die-hard fans of the Pure Boy. They never knew it was their friend Stan all along but they were still die-hard fans. They've seen him in action and know that his intentions were pure and good. They've been following him around, seeing him help out hamsters in need. When they heard about the rumors, they lodged a complaint but never got back a reply from the government. One fateful day, which was Valentine's Day, they were too caught up in the celebration that they have forgotten all about it and never noticed that Stan wasn't there with them.

"Hey, Pashy, have you seen my bro anywhere?" Sandy asked Pashmina, who was dancing with her boyfriend, Dexter.

"No? I haven't seen him for weeks, Sandy."

"I wonder where he's been all this time. He like, disappeared all of a sudden and it happened when the Pure Boy like, disappeared, too."

"Do you think they are somehow connected to each other?"

"What makes you say that, oh dear Pashmina?" Dexter asked.

"Nothing, Dexter, but I…"

"That flirt can't do anything right. He must've just stayed in his cage and is unwilling to come out till he feels like it. After all, he **_did _**embarrass you the other day…"

**Flashback…**

**A few weeks ago…**

"Don't worry, Pashy babe, even if you do come into contact with anything, I'll be here to help ya."

"Y-you sure, Stan? I feel like I'm blind…" Pashmina whimpered. The Ham-Hams were super mega bored so they come to a decision to play Blind Man's Bluff again, Hamtaro making sure that he wasn't going to make Bijou mad like what he did the other time they played. After many **_many_** turns of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pashmina was declared the hamster to be blindfolded. Stan offered to use his favourite headband as a blindfold but Pashmina was terrified and unsure of whether to play but Stan was there to comfort her.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Pash. Whatever happens to ya, you can put the blame on me!"

"…" Pashmina felt her cheeks burning. "T-thanks, Stan…"

'_Why am I feeling like this…? I can't help myself! Stan sounds so assuring and sweet…_' Pashmina shook away the thought. '_No, I have Dexter now. And he's sweet and assuring, too. That's right. I can't think like this anymore. This is the last time I'm thinking about this. Pull yourself together, Pashmina…_' Pashmina stopped blushing as soon as she realized that the game had started so she moved around, swinging her arms, trying to touch any of the Ham-Hams. It seemed that her luck was pretty down that day…

Pashmina continued walking around, feeling frightened and uncertain. It felt like as if she was walking on hard solid clouds in the sky when she was still walking on the clubhouse floor. Suddenly, she tripped on her own foot and fell to the ground.

"Ahh!" Pashmina hit the ground, hard. The blindfold was still covering her eyes and it was absorbing all her sweat and tears. "I never knew the floor was **_this _**hard…" Then, she felt warm paws helping her up. '_Hm? Is… is it…? Is it Stan?_'

"You OK, Pashy babe?"

'_Yes… It is Stan… I never knew how warm his paws were…_' Pashmina's cheeks burned up once more.

"Uh… Pashmina? You OK?"

"Y-yeah, Stan… Just fine…"

"You can take off the blindfold now."

"But why? I haven't caught anyone yet…"

"Of course you have. You caught me, didn't ya?" Stan stated happily. He took the headband off Pashmina's eyes, and assured her to open her eyes. Pashmina opened and was so happy that she could see the bright light surrounding the clubhouse once more. "Pashmina, are you crying?"

"Huh?" Pashmina touched her eyes. Indeed, she was crying. "Oh!" Pashmina wiped away her tears with her sweaty paws and sniffed along the way. As she looked up at Stan, she saw him putting the headband on over his own eyes instead.

"Told ya you could trust me. Now, run along before you get caught. I don't want you falling down again." Stan ran off, chasing the other Ham-Hams, obviously avoiding Pashmina. Pashmina, on the other hand, stood there, dumbfounded. She was blushing slightly and remained where she was. She was taken out from dream land when Dexter stood in front of her.

"Pashmina, don't tell me you're starting to like him? Look at you, you're blushing like crazy! Remember, you have me now!"

"I know that…"

"Besides, you tripped on his foot, not your own. I saw it with my own eyes. And he did that on purpose."

"B-but, Stan would never…"

"Ask the other Ham-Hams if you don't believe me! If you are still so persistent, then I don't see the point in carrying on this relationship any longer!" Dexter stormed off, feeling very frustrated. Pashmina looked at Dexter, then at Stan, and she felt her cheeks burning up, but not because of love. It was because of sudden hatred.

**Flashback ends**

**Present…**

"Dexter, I asked around. It was purely an accident."

"You still…"

"It. Was. Purely. An. Accident," Pashmina stated through gritted teeth. Dexter shut up as a response to Pashmina's sudden outburst. However, all of the Ham-Hams didn't know that a pair of watchful eyes was monitoring their every move…

**Hours later…**

"Stan…"

"Go away, Mom…"

"Stan, please… You can't keep on watching them…"

"They seem happier without me…"

"No, they aren't."

"Yes, they are. You **_know _**that, Mom."

"But, my son, I thought we have come here to see your Pashmina."

"For the last time, my mother, we **_did_** but it's changed… She has Dexter now… I can't change that fact."

Siberia sighed. Stan really knows how to counter back when it comes to arguments. She wanted to cheer Stan up by comforting him with encouraging words but Stan displayed no reaction to all her encouragement. He was depressed, and Siberia's heart felt like it was torn into pieces just by watching her own son go into depression all because of a girl. Yet, Siberia herself once got into depression over Tora before, so she couldn't blame Stan for feeling what he was feeling, which was disappointment and hurt. His pride was hurt and his hopes of getting Pashmina as a girlfriend all dashed away from him, like as if they were little butterflies which fly away when they sense danger approaching. In this case, Stan's hopes all dashed away because they had sensed a threat: Dexter.

"I guess I have to accept her choice…" Stan managed to speak out, his voice barely even a whisper. It might have been soft, but it didn't escape Siberia's ears.

"Stan, you have to fight for love. You know that."

"But if she doesn't like me, what's the point of fighting?"

"She **_does _**like you. Her emotions are just clouded by her feelings for Dexter."

"But that means that I still have to give them my blessings…"

"I forbid you to show yourself in public, Stan. Be glad that I actually allowed you to come here in the first place."

"I won't show myself, my mother, but **_you _**can."

**Several minutes later…**

Siberia knocked on the clubhouse door, remembering every single word of instruction given by Stan. The music playing in the clubhouse stopped abruptly and Sandy went over to open the door. When she realized who was at the door, she gave a sharp but happy gasp.

"Mama! I'm like, **_so _**totally glad you're here! Did Stan like, come with you?"

"No, my dear Sandy, he didn't."

"Aw… He's like, missing out on the fun… Anyway, did he like, tell you anything?"

"Yes, he did. Sandy, your brother's going to be away for a long, long time. He came to me and wanted me to tell you that he is sorry that he had to leave." Pashmina let go of Dexter's paws, and went over to face Siberia.

"Wha… Wh-wh-why…?" Pashmina asked softly. Siberia could see hurt in Pashmina's eyes as well as some tears forming. Siberia sighed sadly, remembering what Stan had instructed her to say to the Ham-Hams.

"Stan is sorry that he had been acting like a so-called pain in the neck so he has decided to leave this place. He wishes to know the error of his ways so he has decided to leave. It seemed like it was going to be a very short trip, like about a week or so, but Stan encountered some problems," Siberia stopped and thought about what to say before continuing, "Stan found Harmony and Spat together. Harmony told him that he should stay here but Spat told him that he should go away and never return. Stan was torn between these two choices so I stepped in. After a while, we all discussed about it, Stan being an exception to the meeting. We decided that Stan should think it through. Days later, Stan suddenly came over to see me. He told me that he had arrived at a decision. He… has decided… to…"

"T-to what? To what?!" Pashmina urged Siberia to carry on. She was already crying loudly and all of the other Ham-Hams could hear her cries.

"Stan has decided to go to a place far away, where no one can bother him. He reckoned that he might be away for a long, long time. He estimated it to be about a year or so. I couldn't stop him from leaving…"

"Wh-where… Where is he now?!"

"He's near…" But Siberia got cut off by the sudden news flash broadcasted on every channel again.

"We bring you this breaking news flash! We have discovered the Pure Boy trying to 'protect' a young female hamster from a mysterious villain whom the Pure Boy referred to as Hypnotism Ham or rather, H.H. Apparently, H.H. was trying to 'kidnap' the youngster when we believe that he is saving her from the Pure Boy."

The television screen switched to a LIVE! broadcast of what was happening. H.H. was wearing a devilish cloak and holding a staff in his paws. Stan was in his Purifier image and kneeling down on the ground. The reporter continued from where he had stopped.

"Using his awesome hypnotic powers, H.H. has brought the Pure Boy down! Now our local police are arriving at the scene as quickly as they can so as to apprehend the real criminal. More information will be coming up soon."

Siberia was watching her son kneel before H.H. and felt great pain in her heart. Every Purifier's mind is the hardest to control but when Purifiers let their guard down, their minds turn soft and fragile, like a worm wriggling helplessly when facing danger from humans…

"Hams, we can't just sit here and do nothing! Let's go help him out!" Boss declared, getting a very enthusiastic "Yeah!" from the Ham-Hams. They all rushed out of the club and raced towards where Stan was. Siberia followed suit.

**Somewhere in Tokyo, Japan…**

"Aw… Is the widdle baby Purifier givin' up alweady, hm?"

"S… St-stop… t-t-t-trea… treating m-me… l-like a… a b-baby…" Stan managed to speak out even through all that hypnotism form H.H.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You're even more pathetic than I thought you were, you little pest! Now, to end your sorrow, I shall use all my hypnotic powers to use you to show the entire world your true identity!"

"Stop right there, you!" Siberia shouted out. She hit H.H. in the chest, making him let go of his staff. Stan was free from the hypnotism and was taken by the arm by Siberia who was dragging him back to the Ham-Hams. H.H. got up quickly and retrieved his staff as he snarled towards the group.

"So, it wooks wike da widdle baby has gotten some fwens with him. Aw… How adorable! Too bad I'm not so much of a fan of having friends!"

"Shut up with all your crap about baby talk!" Stan yelled as he shot out a Pure Beam towards H.H. who dodged it efficiently.

"Ha! I know your moves, Little Tora, don't make me laugh!"

"Then you leave me with no other choice!" Stan's voice echoed out. He placed two of his fingers in his mouth and blew out a long whistle. In a moment, the bushes surrounding them shook violently. Everyone except Stan and Siberia were taken aback by this. The bushes stopped abruptly but from behind them came a swarm of Beedrills, looking very furious and ready to attack H.H.

"S-Stan, you'll pay for this!"

"Oh really? How much? Like, oh, I don't know… 17 angry Beedrills all ready to attack with those Poison Stings of theirs?"

"That's it! You are going down!" H.H. raised his staff high in the air. It glowed brightly and the Beedrills flew away in terror. Stan himself could not resist the power of the staff and held his head tightly, his headache worsening. "Ahaha! You see? Because of my Tainting Powers, not even YOU can resist my power, let alone a swarm of some pitiful Beedrills!" Just as H.H. was about to send Stan flying with a wave of energy, Siberia stood in front of her son, her arms out-stretched.

"Don't. You. Move," Siberia threatened. However, H.H. laughed it off.

"Ah yes, how can I forget **_you_**, Siberia, the mother of two little tiger-striped hamsters, out of which one is under my control?"

"What?!" Sandy shouted out. "I'm one of Mama's children and Stan's the other. And if the only one under your control is the Pure Boy, then the Pure Boy is…!"

"That's right! Your little Pure Boy is none other than your older twin brother, Sandy! Are you shocked to hear that?" Gasps erupted from the Ham-Hams. Sandy walked towards Siberia who didn't flinch.

"Mama… Is this true…?"

"Sandy… The reason why I never told you… was because I didn't want you get hurt in this matter. And now that you have known… I can't hide it anymore. Everything that I told you just now was a lie. I did it so that you would never know where Stan had really gone off to."

"Aw… What I'd do to get love from my own mother… What sweet motherly love! Too bad it's all going to end!" H.H. sent out a wave of energy towards them and it was a wave that none of them could escape from. Everyone braced themselves for the outcome but Pashmina managed to catch a glimpse of a hamster running in front of them and taking the blow all by himself…

It was Stan.

"Stan!" Pashmina cried out, running towards the fallen Purifier. "Stan…"

"Ha! What a stupid and foolish boy!" H.H. laughed.

"Don't you dare call him stupid!"

"Oh, look, I've had enough of Romeo and Juliet's death scenes. Just admit that you like Stan!"

"I…" Pashmina looked down at Stan who was unconscious. She was holding him up with her arms, not wanting to let go of him. '_Stan… Now I realize why he wanted my attention… All that flirting was just to get my attention… Yet, when I fell into that river, he didn't save me. Dexter did… I wonder… Did Stan plan all that, just so that Dexter and I could get together… If so, that makes Stan my Cupid… No, not only is he my Cupid… He's also the one I truly love…_'

"What's the matter? Scared to admit it?"

"No! It's true! I like Stan! I really like him!" All of the Ham-Hams gasped, including Dexter. Pashmina stood up and everyone was amazed by her strength. She was carrying Stan in her arms. "All this time, I've never realized that Stan had been trying to hook me up with Dexter, thinking that I would be happier that way so that I wouldn't get hurt if I ever knew his secret… But I already like him ever since we first met… And now you'll pay for hurting him!" Pashmina asked Siberia to carry Stan for her and Pashmina removed her scarf from her neck. She ran towards H.H. with her scarf in her paws and swung it around like as if it were a whip. Pashmina's determination to whip H.H. built up as soon as she thought about the good times she and Stan had spent together.

"You never give up, now, do you?"

"Of course I don't and it's because I…!" Pashmina shouted as she managed to whip H.H. "…love…!" She whipped him again, except it was even harder now. "… Stan!" With that, she gave it all she could and whipped H.H. at full power. H.H. fell to the ground with a bruised face and was knocked out.

"Now that's what I call Girl Power!" Sandy called out happily as she ran over to hug Pashmina.

"You go, Pashmina!" Bijou chirped sweetly as she, too, rushed over to hug Pashmina.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Penelope squeaked as she hopped onto Pashmina's head.

**After moments of hugging…**

H.H. was taken away by the police and everyone was done hugging Pashmina, except Siberia who had secretly brought Stan home. Well, it wasn't exactly secret, since Pashmina watched her leave with Stan in her arms, still unconscious. Pashmina followed Siberia to Stan's birth place: Ilex Forest which Pashmina knew as Acorn Mountain. Pashmina still followed Siberia and came to a stop when Siberia entered a den and closed it with the stone. Pashmina walked over to a window and watched them. The Ham-Hams soon noticed that she was gone and went in search of her, and also found her at Acorn Mountain. Pashmina explained to the Ham-Hams what she was doing and they understood, staying back with Pashmina to check up on Siberia and Stan.

"Oh, my dear son…" Siberia whispered as she laid Stan down on his bed. She took a wet towel and wiped Stan's forehead. "You never cease to amaze me with your stubbornness. For a second there, I thought you were Tora…" Siberia let a few tears drop before she continued whispering to Stan who was still unconscious, "But Tora won't ever come back… At least I know a part of him still lives in you, Stan." Siberia placed the towel away after she was done wiping Stan's forehead. She sat down on the edge of Stan's bed and ruffled his fur on his forehead.

"S… Siberia…?" Siberia turned around and saw the Ham-Hams standing at the door.

"Oh, Pashmina…"

"Is Stan going to be OK?" Pashmina's voice sounded like a squeak at the last part.

"I hope he will. He hasn't come to after such a long time… I worry for him…"

"Us too…"

"I know… Pashmina, could you stay and look after Stan for a while? I need to clarify some matters with your friends here."

"Sure. Why not? I would love to…" Pashmina pulled a stool and sat there as Siberia closed the door to Stan's room. Pashmina looked at Stan and sighed, "Stan… I wonder if you knew that I like you… I've already explained to Dexter and he said that he understands, but now the problem is you… Please, wake up soon. I long to hear your happy voice…" Pashmina burst into tears but she didn't make her crying sound loud in case the Ham-Hams came in. "Stan… I love you… Yet I hate you so… I hate you for not telling me about your secret… I hate you for trying to hook me up with Dexter, thinking that I would be happy… Maybe that weirdo was right… Maybe you **_are _**a stupid Cupid…" Pashmina shook her head disapprovingly all of a sudden and continued, "No, he's wrong. You weren't stupid. All you wanted was a bunch of happy friends and family, at the expense of your own happiness… You weren't stupid in doing that. You were just hopeful… You hoped that everyone else would be happy if you had done something to make them happy… But, Stan… Because of what you have tried, we aren't happy. **_I _**am not happy. I would only be happy if you wake up. Stan… Sniff… Stan…" Suddenly, she felt a warm, soothing paw hold onto her own paw. Pashmina stopped crying and looked back at Stan.

"Huh, now who's the unhappy one…?"

"S-Stan!"

"You're right… I should've just clarified it with you, but because I didn't, I've made everyone unhappy… Worst of all, I've made you unhappy, Pashmina…"

"S… Stan…" Pashmina placed her head on Stan's belly and cried there. She was shedding not tears of sorrow, but tears of joy.

"Hey now… You're making my fur all wet…"

"Oh, my Cupid who isn't stupid…" Pashmina cried.

"Don't cry, Pashmina… I'm here for ya…"

"Oh, Stan, I love you…"

"I love you too, Pashmina…"

The Ham-Hams and Siberia were secretly watching them with huge smiles on their faces, feeling very happy that Stan and Pashmina could get together finally. Everything went back to normal after that incident but no one forgot that it happened because it was the incident that brought Stan and Pashmina together. Stan carried on with his crime-fighting business with the Ham-Hams helping him out, the boys being the helpers and the girls being the cheerleaders. Ever since then, the Ham-Hams got out of their cages every single day without failure and with great enthusiasm, knowing deep down in their hearts that no one will ever complain of boredom ever again.

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A/N: OMG, this is the longest oneshot that I have ever written so far!

OK, maybe I shouldn't be so enthusiastic about this. There **_are _**others who have written much more than I do. Anyway, remember, this is only an alternate ending. Remember… **_alternate_**. I just love typing alternate endings. They make readers happy. I know from past experience as an anonymous reviewer. I read more than I reviewed and I feel very happy every time I see an alternate ending to any story. Are any of you happy? Because I am happy and proud of how this oneshot has turned out to be.

If any of you want, I might write up a sequel or even a running series. I'm already thinking about it but I know I have to continue with **Life in Orre, Past or Present** sometime soon. Maybe I shall update tomorrow. I don't have time to update today since I am so determined to get this story typed and my house faced two blackouts in a row so I got many interruptions while typing this up. Dum… dum… dum… I guess that's just about it.

Until next time… See ya! Oh, and before I forget… Treat your Umbreons with care! … Or else!

Umbreon-Rawks


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